


Yellow Is a Hard Color to Wear

by Ki_no_Shirayuki



Series: Gintama Chromatic Chronicles [4]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Accents, Anachronistic, Arguing, Badass, Battle, Bickering, Body Language, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dancing, Dialect, Embedded Video, Family Drama, Folk Music, Gen, Humor, Hypnotism, Music, Musical Instruments, Nudity, Puns & Word Play, Siblings, Song Lyrics, Translation, WTF, Yosakoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-03 03:10:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki
Summary: Gintama Chromatic Chronicles entry #4: Yellow.It would have been an awesomeyosakoiparade were it not for the troublesome shamisen players.Set afterBlak Beest.





	1. Yotchore Yotchore!

**Author's Note:**

> The garbs I imagine the characters wearing are the same as the ones shown in the video below.

"No, Bansai, I'm not going anywhere until you explain all of this shit to me." grumbled Takasugi, "Why am I no longer allowed to buy sake and why are we wearing these shitty costumes? You know I look horrible in yellow! What will everyone else think of me, the leader of the Army of Demons, if they see me wearing this spectacular piece of shit?"

That morning, Bansai had stuck Takasugi as well as himself in elaborate and colorful _yosakoi_ garbs despite the latter's protest. What was more aggravating was that he was given the _female_ costume, which consisted of a too-bright-for-its-own-good yellow _haori_ top, indigo flower-print _hakama_ pants (in fact, the pants were the only part of the ensemble that Takasugi was mildly pleased with) and -gasp- a fucking _headband_ with a huge, stupid flower decoration. The upside was that Bansai was also wearing the female costume, reason being that "they ran out of male ones", but then his top was blue. _Fuck you to hell and back, Bansai_ , Takasugi thought. He wanted nothing more than to bash his head off with the _naruko_ clappers stashed in his belt right there and then.

"To answer your first question: because I'm having trouble with my job and therefore making less money, and your second question: because I was suddenly and ruthlessly sacked by the dance company who just recently hired me to play music for their _yosakoi_ troupe in favor of another shamisen duo. We must infiltrate their upcoming parade in order to find out who on Earth those two are."

"So this is just because you're _jealous_ of people more talented than you are? If so, then why don't you do it on your own? Why drag me into this, especially when I don't have the faintest clue what the dance routine is?"

"Because I thought you like these kinds of things — you know, parades and all that. Also, I think you look cute in that costume."

"I am _so_ going to kill you."

* * *

"Well, it's always great to join a bright and lively parade, especially after the "black" incident." Shinpachi laughed, gripping his flag tight in one hand while adjusting his bandanna with the other, "Technically, the dance will not be invented until 1954, but I suppose…"

"Seriously, we're characters of a series _built on_ anachronism and anachronism is the first thing you're concerned about?" Gintoki interrupted, "Why the fuck am I wearing _yellow_? What are Gintama fans going to think of me if they see me wearing a color obviously not designed for me? If I knew getting paid by this stupid dance company means I have to wear this stupid color, I wouldn't have taken up their offer in the first place."

"Come on, it's just temporary. It's just this one parade." Shinpachi reassured him, "Besides, isn't this a great chance for you to get more physical activity?"

"You're just in it because of Terakado Tsuu."

"Well, yes, she'll be singing for this performance. Better yet, providing the background music is the recently famous shamisen duo Yoshino Sisters." Shinpachi pointed to the two women situated on a parade truck, "They have shot to fame within one week, and I'm curious to find out what kind of music they play."

"Excuses, excuses." Gintoki muttered under his breath and hoped the rigorous rehearsals he had for the past few days as well as his limbs would not fail him this time.


	2. Sore Sore Sore!

Thus began the parade of the Yosakoi Bushi よさこい武士 (Yosakoi Warriors) troupe.

 _There must be something off_ , Takasugi thought. He was dead sure he never got to learn any of the dance moves, but he found himself moving in perfect sync with the other dancers, never missing one step. Up, down, crouch, jump, rattle that _naruko_ , spin, step, shout; he got all of them down cold. Also, the music was _exceptionally_ beautiful. Too beautiful to be believed, in fact.

* * *

Gintoki didn't know why, but he was feeling _very_ energized. In contrary to his expectations, the performance was _wonderful_ — hundreds of dancers moving in weaving colorful patterns down the street as the parade continued, their moves quick, powerful and perfectly synced, hundreds of _naruko_ clapping, oversized flags twirling in eye-pleasing patterns — who knew Shinpachi was so great with that flag. Best of all was the _music_ ; Gintoki could understand why the shamisen duo gained fame so quickly. Their music was excellent, to the point of drawing all attention on itself rather than Otsuu's vocals. He was _that_ pumped-up… until he caught sight of the lantern bearer walking past him, holding a huge lantern post while walking forward between the lines of dancers.

 _That giant duck-like creature… What is it doing here?_ Gintoki wondered as Elizabeth calmly carried on walking forward, paying him no heed.  _Doesn't anybody recognize it? Or did they allow him to be here?_ He wasn't given time to recover from the surprise when he realized who the long-haired dancer right in front of him was.

"Don't ask anything." they were now face-to-face, and Katsura said before Gintoki could even open his mouth. Right then, the music slowed.

土佐の高知の　はりまや橋で  
_Tosa no Kōchi no  Harimayabashi de_  
On the Harimaya bridge in Kōchi, Tosa

坊さんかんざし　買うを見た  
_Bō-san kanzashi  kau o mita_  
I saw a priest buying a hair ornament

よさこい　よさこい  
_Yosakoi  yosakoi_  
Yosakoi, yosakoi (come here in the night)

_Yosakoi Bushi — よさこい節_  
Kōchi prefecture folk song

"Can I ask now? The fuck are you and your disgusting pet doing here, Zura?" he asked as he stashed his _naruko_ back into his belt and took out the paper fan, getting annoyed looks from other dancers as a result.

"Not Zura, it's _Yozura_. Disguise. Run away." he replied in short words, which puzzled Gintoki even more.

"The fuck do you mean?" he asked, louder, which prompted shushes from other dancers.

"I am disguising. Blending in with the dancers." Katsura said in an equal volume, and got one dancer next to him stepping on his toe as a reminder to keep quiet. One did have to wonder how he was going to blend in if he looked so attractive in that garb. No, he looked downright _sexy_ in it — a _haori_ that was red on one side, white on the other, lined with gold at the collar and a pair of crimson _hakama_ pants. _That's the color combination that I'm supposed to be wearing, not him!_ Gintoki thought, already jealous, "We need to get out of this parade as quickly as we can."

"Then why don't you get out first?"

"I can't. My limbs are moving on their own." Katsura couldn't explain further, because the music sped up again. They took out their _naruko_ again in place of the fan.

Unknowingly, Gintoki's thumb swiped over a red dot near the wooden bars on the instrument.


	3. Yosh-yosh-yosshoi!

"Damn, what was that?" Hijikata jumped back as something resembling a missile flew in his direction, but luckily missed him. Everyone around him turned their attention from the parade to him instead, "Sougo, did you shoot me again?"

"I wish I did." Okita said, sliding his eye mask over his forehead, "I've been standing next to you the whole time."

Hijikata crouched down to examine the missile; it was small, but its force enough to leave a hole on the road surface. Then his eyes widened — it wasn't a missile at all.

It was a wooden bar on a _naruko_ clapper.

* * *

_The fuck is going on?_ Gintoki thought as soon as he found out what the red dot on his clappers did — touch it and the clapper fired its wooden bars as missiles. Before long, the crowd of parade-goers went from cheering to screaming and panicking and all fled the street where the performance took place, one person stepping over another, running for their dear lives.

The flag dancers didn't fare any better. "Oh my god! Help me! What's going on?" Shinpachi shrieked — apparently he also touched a button on the flag handle by mistake, and it began shooting laser beams. Elizabeth was running from his lanterns who turned out to be robots who bit people.

"As long as your consciousness is still under your control," Katsura said to Gintoki, "cover your ears, Gintoki! Cover your ears!"

Gintoki was confused until he found out he couldn't stop dancing. He tried to still his arms to no avail. It was as though they had a mind of their own, carrying on moving in time with the music despite his wishes. It looked like there was no way he could break free after all… He was desperate and nearly giving in when he had an idea.

He hummed the Doraemon theme song, and was surprised to find that he was able to drop the _naruko_ to the ground. It took much willpower — if clenching his teeth until it felt like they were about to break and working his arm muscles until they hurt counted as "much — and humming the tune for a few more times, but he eventually he succeeded in putting his fingers into his ears. Now completely free from the music's influence, he and Katsura, who was also covering his ears, made a run for the nearest building.


	4. Do-kkoi-sho!

"What are you doing, you evil women?" Otsuu yelled, lying bound on the parade truck's floor. She was bound shoulder to ankle not by a rope, but by something that used to be a dancer's headband.

"One more word and we'll hafta strangle ya. I still have a'plenty o' headbands." said one of the shamisen duo in a distinctive Shikoku dialect, "Be nice 'n stay quiet, the dawn o' Japan is near. It'll be heralded by the sound o' our music, yeah!"

"Sis, do you need to be so harsh to her?"

"Shut th' fuck up n' stop bein' such a coward, lil' brat! Miss a beat n' Imma beat the fuck outta ya!"

* * *

After Gintoki and Katsura were sure they were protected from all sounds from outside in the room they locked themselves in, they allowed themselves to relax, regain their composure and catch their breath.

"Man, I didn't know providing the background music were those ten-thousand-and-one-times-damned Yoshino Sisters! When I found out, it was too late and I was already under their spell." Katsura said between pants, "Yoshino Ryouko and Yoshino Kenmi are former Joui rebels. They were trained in the art of the shamisen since a young age and have mastered their skills to the point where they can _literally_ influence people with their music. They proposed using their skills to turn ordinary people into fighters for our cause, but it went against our stance, so I declined. Yet, they remained persistent and kept pressing us to the point where I had to expulse them from the faction. Since then, they have been acting on their own. They've become increasingly dangerous, using their musical abilities to gain popularity and become celebrities. They even create weapons masquerading as musical instruments and stage props, turning many concerts and other performances into terrorist attacks. A huge parade like this is a golden opportunity for them to get an army of their own! We need to stop them before their _yosakoi_ army destroys Edo!"

"And how exactly are we going to do that? If we get out there, we're just gonna be hypnotized again!"

"I've got an idea." that said, he whispered something into Gintoki's ear, and they began searching around the room.

Minutes later, makeshift plugs in their ears and swords in their hands, the two kicked the door open and charged out.


	5. SOI-ya!

Two more dancers were immediately knocked out by Gintoki's sword, falling over a pile of other unconscious dancers. A lantern robot latched onto his sword, but he flung it away, sending it flying and hitting another dancer squarely in the face. He plowed through the enemies, expertly dodging elastic headbands and wooden bullets — those pieces of wood were leaving holes all over the place on the ground, who knew what would happen if they touched his flesh at that terrifying force; driving a clean hole all the way _through_ it _at best_ — all while sending dancers flying in all directions. He was growing exhausted, but the enemies kept coming; Katsura was also in a similar situation. They eventually touched backs, surrounded by a sea of hypnotized killing machines with deadly weapons masquerading as harmless _yosakoi_ props.

Gintoki pointed his index finger downward (" _now_ ") and shrugged (" _what?_ ").

Katsura raised one leg as if kicking something and then pointed at his crotch (" _did you get kicked in your nutsack_?")

Gintoki shook his head (" _no_ "), pointed to the dancers before him (" _there are_ "), made sweeping gestures with both his arms (" _too many of them_ ") and shrugged again (" _what do we do?_ ").

Katsura then spun Gintoki around so they were face-to-face, pulled out his earplugs and roared at the top of his lungs. "Not Humpty-Dumpty, it's Katsura!"

Fed up, Gintoki quickly shoved his earplugs back in place again and kicked Katsura's face. They then proceeded to nearly beat the crap out of each other until the enemies made way for someone to move through. They stopped fighting only to behold Shinpachi, now with a menacing look on his face and flag-cum-laser-gun in hand, standing before them.

Not saying another word, they jumped up at the exact same time, both stepped on Shinpachi's face, bouncing off of it and landed far away from the crowd (comes with slow-mo for extra badass-ness).

Just when they thought their problem had been cleared up, another enemy was presented before them in the form of… Takasugi, with Elizabeth right behind him.

Gintoki pointed at him (" _you_!"), made flapping gestures with his hands and shrugged (" _what are you doing here?_ "). He then motioned to his own _haori_ top and then at Takasugi's (" _that color_ ") and did a mock laugh (" _makes you look stupid!_ ")

Takasugi chuckled, "Gintoki, what makes you think I grope women on a daily basis? And you find it funny? You can't be serious."

Of course, his response wasn't heard. Katsura pointed at himself, then at Takasugi and performed a "stabbing" gesture at his own chest (" _I am going to kill you!_ ").

Takasugi said, "You want me to watch Attack on Titan?"

At this point, Elizabeth showed him a board, "Earplugs, Takasugi-san, earplugs. They don't hear a thing you're saying."

Takasugi, not noticing Elizabeth was behind him the whole time, was taken by surprise. "Where the fuck did you pop out from? This is no place for children to play, so get the hell out of…"

Elizabeth smashed his face with his board, instantly knocking Takasugi out and saving our heroes as well as the author a Benizakura-worthy battle. With a dangerous enemy taken care of, Gintoki and Katsura went ahead and knocked Elizabeth out too before carrying on their search for the main culprit.


	6. WOOT WOOT!… wait, what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (spoiler alert)
> 
> The Ultimate Battle
> 
>  **SAKATA GINTOKI 坂田銀時** vs **YOSHINO RYŌKO 吉野良子**  
>  and  
>  **KATSURA KOTARŌ 桂小太郎** vs **YOSHINO KENMI 吉野健身**
> 
> ****
> 
> ****
> 
> _(insert flashy preview segment here)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have made any mistakes here, feel free to correct me. I don't ever participate in combat of any kind, so I'm bound to make mistakes in battle scenes.

_Damn, that was one hell of a boring battle sequence_ , Gintoki thought to himself thinking no one heard him, but too bad for him, the author did. Her defence was that ~~she sucked hard at writing battle scenes~~ the main enemy was the Yoshino Sisters, so adding a detailed fight against Takasugi would just detract from the plot. Speaking of the Yoshino Sisters, they were already confronted by a man in sunglasses who was somehow not under their spell, much to their shock.

"Where d' ya come from?" Yoshino Ryouko was taken by surprise and paused her playing for a moment to witness the stranger having hopped onto the truck. Her younger sister Kenmi's expression remained unchanged as she carried on playing, but Bansai was unaffected.

"It's no use. These headphones protect me from your wicked magic." he said, drawing his sword from his own shamisen, "I knew from the start that dirty tricks were involved in your sudden rise to popularity. You, evil women, have used your dark magic to take away my job, and for that, I must punish you."

"Ooh, if ya ain't the poor guy kicked outta the comp'ny! Sorry 'bout that, hun." Ryouko let out a string of high-pitched laughs, wiggling her butt and all that crap, "No need ta work yaself up like that. Ain'tcha from the Kiheitai? Ya look kinda cute too. How 'bout we be friends?" she approached him at a distance closer than necessary, "We'll play music t'gether n' bring 'bout the Dawn o' Japan t'gether, just fo' us two…"

"Shut up, woman! I am going to send you to hell!" that said, he was about to drive his blade down at Ryouko's neck only to find it stopped by a hard, metal object in her hand. She then pushed it right back, causing Bansai to stumble and fall on the truck floor.

"It ain't no use, hun." she cackled. The object in her hand looked like a normal folding fan used in _yosakoi_ at first glance, but was really made of metal with an edge as sharp as any sword, "Yer sorry swordfightin' ain't no match fo' the secret _tessenjutsu_ I've created n' perfected fo' a long long time, that nob'dy else knows but I!" she produced yet another _tessen_ from her sleeve, "Givvit up already, hun!"

"As if! You think that tiny fan can beat a sword?" Bansai bounced right back up and thrusted his sword forward, attempting to stab her right between her eyes, but its tip instead of touching her skin was already caught between the folds of the as-of-yet folded _tessen_ before he knew anything. Ryouko chuckled.

"Ohh, yer long thingy's in my folds!" she laughed at her own joke, holding the fan in front of her face, "The sword may b' longer n' bigger, but it's 'lso thin n' weak. Dis fan o' mine when folded is much, much sturdier n' thicker, sumthin' no swords can match."

"But that's just when folded, isn't it? That means it loses the majority of its sturdiness when opened!"

"Well technic'ly yeah, but ya won't got no sword tah fight it then." she bent her wrist, and Bansai's sword was snapped in half, "Sides, if ya think my fan ain't got nothin' on ya when opened, then sadly ya dunno what true _tessenjutsu_ is like."

That said, she opened both her fans, grabbed a decorative umbrella on the side of the truck, tossed it into the air before throwing her fans up along with it. She caught the fans as they fell down, while the umbrella landed seemingly in one piece before falling apart into hundred of horizontal slices as thin, clean and even as _makizushi_ slices seconds later.

"A slight touch's gonna chop ya head clean off. Dun worry hun, it ain't ev'n hurt. Now, Imma give ya a choice. Be my friend, or I kill ya."

"Not so fast!" a voice came from below the truck, and Gintoki and Katsura jumped in, swords ready in hand. Seeing two more people immune to the effect of the music, Katsura in particular, Kenmi was so shocked she ceased playing, and the two men sighed in relief and removed their earplugs.

"Heh, two more idiots? N' whatzat? A wood'n sword? A _wood'n_ sword?" Ryouko almost doubled over in laughter, "Tch. Und'rest'mate my fan technique 'n y'all gonna pay dearly fo' it! Too bad tho', cuz I find dudes with messy hair 's well as dudes with silky long hair like ya guys ab-sah- _loot_ -ly sexy."

Gintoki and Katsura both dropped their swords and took out… their _naruko_ clappers, causing Ryouko to give them a confused look.

"I may not have had any formal _tessenjutsu_ training, but I have dabbled in it long enough to know its weaknesses." Katsura declared, "The _tessen_ is strictly a melee weapon and a tool of defense. Your technique includes throwing them, which remedies this, but still there is a problem. They are larger and wider than a dart or an arrow, which means they could easily be seen and avoided." at this, Ryouko threw both fans at them, but Gintoki tilted his head while Katsura bent backwards, and the fans missed. They flew out of the truck, far away from her grasp, and there was no way she could go get them back without having to get past the two first.

"Unlike _these_ babies!" Gintoki immediately fired his _naruko_ 's wooden missiles at her, intentionally missing, "Small and light and _deadly_! Why, this is your own invention!" He then fired a serious shot meant to finish her off, and she had to resort to picking up the shamisen she had set down and drew the sword hidden inside it to parry the missiles, "Last resort, huh? Too late, because swords are my favorite!"

Ryouko simply grumbled amd jumped out of the truck in order to retrieve her fans, and Gintoki followed her. "Take care of the other sister, Zura!" he called. Katsura picked up his sword and approached Kenmi, who was grabbing her shamisen tight and trembling in fear.

"Yoshino Kenmi." he said, "You and your sister have betrayed our trust, and therefore we must punish you."

"Katsura-sama." she uttered, shivering even harder.

"Goddamnit, Ken-chan! Are ya a coward 'r what? Don't just stand there!" Ryouko shouted, her sword and Gintoki's still in a locked position, "Do sumthin'!"

"But sis…"

" _Do it_!" right then Gintoki knocked her back a few steps, and was already directing another attack at her.

"I'm sorry, Katsura-sama." she said as she placed the _bachi_ at the strings again an started playing a tune. It was a slow song in the Jiuta style, which caused Katsura's limbs to go numb. He looked around in search for his earplugs, but it was too late; he couldn't stay upright any longer, and he collapsed, his body heavy as lead, refusing to move.

Bansai, headphones still over his ears, walked over. "You can… take my sword…" Katsura struggled to let out the words. Bansai complied, but then Kenmi's playing sped up into the Minyo style, the same style that accompanied the _yosakoi_ dance earlier, and a group of hypnotized dancers arrived, hopping on the truck. Bansai easily fended them off, which left Kenmi in utter fear again. She looked as if about to break down in tears.

"Use… tha most… dang'rous style!" Ryouko instructed her again, now whimpering in pain. Her clothes were already tattered and her left shoulder bore a deep cut.

"R… Really?" Kenmi asked, but since she never went against her older sister's words, she apologized to Katsura again, tears truly running down her cheeks. She switched into the deadliest playing style — the Tsugaru style. It not only caused Katsura, who could hear it, to writhe and scream in horrible pain, but also released invisible yet lethally sharp sound waves that leaves bleeding cuts on both his and Bansai's bodies.

Kenmi dropped her shamisen to the floor and started sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryōko's _tessenjutsu_ is inspired by Code Lyoko (hehe geddit).
> 
> Sorry if this comes off as racist. I cannot find a better way to transcribe Shikoku dialect.


	7. Yosakoi, Yosakoi…

"Zura!" Gintoki called, letting his guard down, which allowed Ryouko to knock him over. She pointed her sword at his face, laughing triumphantly.

"Ya friend can't help ya now! 'S no use. Give up!" she was about to drive the blade down when an elastic headband wrapped around the handle and snatched the sword away.

That headband was Kenmi's.

"Ken-chan!" Ryouko changed her voice to an almost scolding tone, seeing her sister having descended from the truck and walking up to her, "What 'n hell is wrong with ya? First hes'tate from finishin' off that guy, now not let me finish dis guy too? Quit makin' me mad at ya, Ken-chan. You're such a…"

She was cut of by Kenmi's giving her a harsh blow to her face.

"Ken-chan…"

"Shut. The. _Fuck_. Up!" Kenmi growled. Within the bat of an eye, she launched herself at her sister, pushing her over and took out her rage on her, giving her a beatdown so brutal blood ran down in rivers from her forehead, nostrils and mouth. Still Kenmi kept giving punches after punches screaming like a madwoman until she got hold of the sword she just took from Ryouko, and positioned it above her forehead.

"Ken-chan…" Ryouko whimpered weakly.

"Don't fucking "Ken-chan" me, you motherfucking bitch of a sister! I'm not your fucking slave! From now on I'll free myself from you, and I'll send you to hell where you belong!"

"Stop." someone came from behind her, and she turned around to see Katsura, who was still wincing from the multitude of wounds on his body, but conscious nonetheless. Seeing him, Kenmi lost her grab on the sword, letting it fall to the ground before running up to him. She threw her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Katsura-sama!" she said.

* * *

_"Wow, that's a nice song you're playing there." Kenmi's concentration was interrupted when a little boy ran up from behind her._

_"Th… thanks." she said, "I think it's still not good enough. I'm never good enough."_

_"Why do you think that?"_

_"I don't even want to play the shamisen in the first place, but my sister keeps making me. She always scolds me when I do something she doesn't like and scolds me some more when I don't do good enough. "Why ya so stupid?", "Ya makin' me mad!", "Good fo' nothin' lil' brat!" She's even angry at me because I stopped speaking in Shikoku accent when my family moved to Honshu." she started crying, but now that she said everything to the boy, she felt something she didn't feel before. Calmness. Relief. Happiness even. "What's your name?" she asked._

_"Kotarou. Katsura Kotarou." that was all he could say before his teacher and his friends called him from a distance, and he had to leave her without asking for her name. He however, dropped something._

_She picked it up and had a look. It was a notebook with "Katsura Kotarou. Shoka Sonjuku" written on the cover._

* * *

"I didn't see him again after that. I wanted to go to Shoka Sonjuku with him, but when my sis found out, she flew into a rage and tore that notebook to pieces." Kenmi explained, "But I remembered him, the first person I shared my secrets to, until I grew up. Sis forced me to join the Joui faction against my will, but when I discovered the leader was the same person I met as a child, I stayed. Katsura-sama has become such an opinionated and eccentric but _noble_ man. The very reason he formed the faction is to gain freedom for humankind, to let humans decide their own fate and not have to submit to the Amanto. _Freedom_ , that's also what I want, but I'm too afraid to ask for. My sis wants to use our music skills to hypnotize people into fighting for us, but Katsura-sama dislikes the idea of forcibly brainwashing people against their will. I wanted to be on his side, but I was too afraid. I remained silent, even as Katsura-sama expulsed us from the faction. I know I betrayed him, but I couldn't argue with my sister. I have lost the ability to long ago." she cried again.

"I'm very sorry." Katsura said, "But what can I do for you?"

"I don't want to play shamisen or brainwash people anymore. And when I go to jail, please convince them to put me in a separate cell from my sister."

* * *

What needed to be done was done. The Yoshino Sisters went to prison, each sister a separate cell from one another, and they had no hope of getting back into the music industry upon release. Bansai was re-hired into the dance company, his job crisis was dealt with and Takasugi had enough money to buy sake again. Gintoki and Shinpachi weren't paid, reason being that they "played a major part in violence". Everyone had their happy ending.

Except not really.

"I am _seriously_ going to kill the fuck out of you, Bansai!" Takasugi yelled, wearing nothing but a _fundoshi_  while Bansai sat behind him, calmly played the accompaniment piece to the dance he forced Takasugi into performing.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Yoshino Sisters are based on the real-life shamisen duo Yoshida Brothers, consisting of Yoshida Ryōichirō 吉田良一郎 and Yoshida Ken'ichi 吉田健一.


	8. Oma-oma-omake!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter 4

(chapter goes as normal)

"… We need to stop them before their  _yosakoi_ army destroys Edo!"

"And how exactly are we going to do that? If we get out there, we're just gonna be hypnotized again!"

"I've got an idea." he said, "You see how terribly catchy their music is? It gets stuck in your brain with no way of getting it out. We need a "counter-spell" song — something that gets stuck in the brain even easier and quicker than their song."

"But it's gonna take a lot of time to compose one."

"Don't worry, I have everything ready."

* * *

"Da _fuck_ izzat?" Ryouko was utterly puzzled, seeing as the crowd of dancers who were supposed to be her army now following in hordes after two men in ridiculous hip-hop outfits, carrying a huge radio, chanting _Yaru nara ima shika ne, ZURA! Yaru nara ima shika ne, ZURA!_

 _Damn, this guy is well-prepared._ Gintoki thought. _He must be fucking Lupin, no doubt about it!_


End file.
